


I can't wait any longer, I messed up all I can

by lucylupin



Category: Reservoir Dogs (1992)
Genre: Crying, M/M, larry dimmick has strong daddy vibes, the tiniest bit of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2020-01-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:07:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22253137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucylupin/pseuds/lucylupin
Summary: “Hey, you wanna get outta here?”White’s leaning really close to him to make himself be heard over the bar’s racket, and the graze of his breath against Freddy’s ear sends a shiver down his spine. He attempts a casual nod that looks maybe a little bit too eager. “Sure.”“Great. We can have another beer someplace else.”From the prompt “It’s okay to cry…”
Relationships: Mr. Orange/Mr. White (Reservoir Dogs)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 135





	I can't wait any longer, I messed up all I can

“Hey, you wanna get outta here?” 

White’s leaning really close to him to make himself be heard over the bar’s racket, and the graze of his breath against Freddy’s ear sends a shiver down his spine. He attempts a casual nod that looks maybe a little bit too eager. “Sure.”

“Great. We can have another beer someplace else.”

Freddy assumes White wants to take him to another bar, to his house or maybe even a motel room. _No. Freddy, don’t even think about that_. So when they get in the car and start driving out of the city and to the hills he feels his usually tamed anxiety grow inside him. He shuffles through half a dozen different theories in his head on what might be happening, fearing White has found out he is a cop and is going to take him out execution style on the outskirts of the city, or maybe Joe doesn’t really trust him and has asked White to test him somehow. White seems to be reading his mind, because he reaches over and places a soothing hand on his knee, just low enough that it could be considered merely a friendly touch. It makes Freddy’s heart jump anyway.

“Relax, kid. I’m not gonna murder you out in the woods or anything.” 

Freddy laughs like he finds the occurrence really absurd and shakes his head. “Didn’t think so.”

“There’s just a place over here I wanna show you.” 

They drive up through roads full of curves and bends, the kind only used by hikers or people who own really expensive houses, and at some point they take a side lane without streetlamps and come into a dirt path that ends abruptly with a cliff. Below, the city shines with the glow of a million lights, like a neatly organized constellation. It’s been a long time since Freddy’s seen L.A. like this (he’s never been one for hiking) and the sight leaves him out of breath. He vaguely remembers seeing a similar sight once with his dad when he was a kid,way back, before his dad bailed on him.

White parks the car and walks to the trunk, then comes back on Freddy’s side with a six-pack and knocks his knuckles softly on the window. He’s smiling. “C’mon, get out.” Freddy does as White props himself up and sits on the hood of the car, leaning against the windshield; he imitates him and settles by his side. 

White takes one of the beers out of its plastic ring and cracks it open, passing it to Freddy before pulling another one for himself. For a while they just stand in silence and drink, which isn’t necessarily bad, but Freddy was already a bit drunk from the bar and the booze is starting to go to his head. Suddenly he can’t take the heist out of his mind and he realizes he likes the man laying by his side a little too much and he’s gonna be stabbing him in the back in a few days. He feels like his gut is twisted into a knot. The voice of White startles him out of his thoughts.

“So… I’ve been thinking… It’s been more than a year since I had a steady business partner.” He looks at Freddy, and it’s really dark but he could swear it’s hope what he sees in White’s eyes. “You’re a good kid, learn fast. Maybe we could team up, after the job’s done. I could teach you a thing or two you know.”

The knot in Freddy’s stomach jumps up to his throat and makes him feel like he’s choking. “I uh… I’m not sure I can… I mean, it’s not that I don’t want to… but I have this thing…” 

“Hey, that’s okay kid. You don’t have to answer now. And you definitely don’t have to explain yourself. We’ll talk after the heist.” 

Maybe it’s the poorly concealed look of disappointment in White’s eyes that does it, but suddenly the knot inside of Freddy is too tight and he feels like it’s all too much and he’s digging his nails into his skin because if he let’s go he might start crying. _Fuck Freddy you haven’t had an anxiety attack since you were in high school for fuck’s sake. Get yourself under control. Shit. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck_. But the tears are already falling down his face and he’s making a great effort not to let out an actual sob, and just wishes the darkness will hide it all before White notices. Suddenly there’s a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey, hey. Are you okay? C'mere.” White’s embrace is just as gentle as his voice when he pulls Freddy closer and wraps his arm around him. Freddy leans into the touch, burying his face in the other man’s chest and letting out a soft sob. He feels embarrassed that he’s gonna stain his shirt with his tears, but White doesn’t seem to mind. He feels a hand softly brush his hair and a small kiss on top of his head. If he stops thinking, just for a moment, he feels safe and content. White’s voice is only a whisper when he talks.

“Let it out. It’s okay to cry.”

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from _Harvest Moon_ by Bedlam.
> 
> Originally posted on my tumblr.


End file.
